I hope that you all had a wonderful Mother's Day! Our day was good! It started off with breakfast in bed, my fav waffles from my hubby. Then a little present and cards from the kids. So sweet! I love it when my hubby makes me feel so special and appreciated.
We went to church and at the end of the sacrament meeting, our Bishop told all the women and Mother's to stand to receive a little gift from them.
I eventually stood and turned around and noticed our neighbor, who does not have any kids, getting ready to leave with her husband. I asked her what she was doing - get up and stand girl! And what she said to me broke my heart, because I have been there, she said, "But, I'm not a Mother." It just killed me! Mother's day is for celebrating every woman, no matter what! She stood, was a bit embarrassed and took a gift and I was so proud of her (I know her hubby was too).
I remember those days...the hard Mother's days that would come and pass as we were struggling to have a child of our own. Wondering....would we ever have a child of our own. It was such a hard time and my heart goes out to all of those that going through that right now! Or mourning the loss of a child...I can't imagine how hard days like this must be. I admire you all so much for your strength - you truly should be celebrated and I hope that you were, in your own way, this Mother's Day.
So....
Did you watch the Oprah that week before Mother's Day with Demi Moore and Vanessa Williams being interviewed? It was so great - I need to go back and watch it again. But, one thing has really stuck with me and it's been causing me so much stress! :)
Vanessa Williams mother was there with her and she said, "No, I am not her friend, She has her own friends. I AM HER MOTHER."
It made me sad...did it make anyone else sad? I love my Mom and can't imagine not having a special relationship with her that I can just call her up and chat with her, just like a good friend. Of course, she is also my mother, and was probably more my 'mother' than 'friend' back in high school and those tough teenage years, but now...she is more of a friend. And I'm so thankful for that relationship that we have built and that we are watering and growing each day.
I'm so thankful that I get the chance to build this friendship with her - my Mom's mom died suddenly and very randomly while she was in her 50's - 54 I think. My beautiful mother is 52 (I think! LOL!) and it scares me to think of losing her. I pray every day for her health and that she will be here for a long time to come - I'm sure that she will be and I'm thankful for her and her friendship.
What are your thoughts...
Can you be a Mother to your children....and also their friend?
I hope that I can be. I want to be Madisyn and Hudson's friend. I want them to be able to come home from school and tell me about their day - boy/girl issues, friend issues, concerns about things. I want them to be able to be themselves and talk to me. I do want to be their friend.
Is it possible? I hope so! :)
I think that while they are little, we spend too much time doing things because we want them to like us. Not because it is for their own good. So while they are little I believe that while there is fun and such you should not strive to be buddies. Because do you mind (as in obey) your buddy. No, you obey your parents (hopefully LOL) But as they grow your parenting changes. Less displine more firndship and sharing. My Mom is absolutely my best friend. Was she while I was growing up? No, she was my mother. Now we have the freedom to be buddies :) My MIL spent WAY too much time trying to be friends with her kids. They pretty much did what they wanted, when they wanted. Things that were NOT good for them. Don't get me wrong. I play with my kids, I enjoy them. But right now my job is to train them up in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. Hopefully you understand what I mean LOL.
Posted by: Heather Bowser | Friday, May 18, 2007 at 05:59 PM
most surely you can be both! i think we need to be more in mom mode when our kids are young and need direction and guidance. but as they get older and make their own choices we can be more like a good friend. my oldest daughter is 23 and we are the best of friends! i love it! i think of the bad friend mom like the mom in mean girls--amy pohler! ha ha
Posted by: lisa | Friday, May 18, 2007 at 11:05 AM
Oh I totally think it's possible to be both friends and mothers to our children! At least I'm praying it's possible. My mom is really my best friend, as well as one of all of my siblings closest friends. She's the BEST! Sure, she was a mom, but we respected and obeyed her much more when she also showed us the love of a friend.
I also agree with what you said about mother's day being to celebrate all women. It breaks my heart to see childless people on this holiday and remember the years my hubby and I struggled - those Mother's Days (and many other holidays) were so hard without children. I think those who want children desperately are as much mothers as those who have children - and I hope more people honor and celebrate them on such occasions.
Posted by: Joanna | Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 05:20 PM
ABSOLUTELY!!! i think so! in fact, that has been my one biggest hope for me and my daughter, that we can also be friends. that she will see that i establish rules and say no sometimes not only because i am her mom, but that i am her friend. and i have told her ever since she was old enough to listen that she and her daddy are and will always be my best friends, and that i promise to be theirs. i think it is SO important! i always love your posts, robyn. they really get me thinking and sometimes stir up emotions. i love that you can connect with people that way! kudos to you!! :)debbie
Posted by: Debbie Cook | Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 03:20 PM
Love this post, Robyn! I definitely think that we can be both a Mom and a friend to our children. I think that there are just certain times when the "Mom" needs to be there a bit more like during their formative years, but I hope that when Caylin and any more children that I have are older that we can be the best of friends. I want to be the kind of Mom that my daughter wants to be close with and tell everything to. I really hope to have that special bond with her even when she is older. I am looking forward to stepping back a bit when she is older and having more of the "friend" come out. ;)
Posted by: kristina | Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 08:09 AM
great post robyn. i think we can be both moms and friends to our children. i hope i'm accomplishing that with my girls. my second all time favorite tv show (friends comes in first) is "gilmore girls". i loved how lorelai (spl!) was a super cool mom to rori ... and they were the best of friends. i want to be her as a mom. lol! i was so sad last night watching the last episode ... i seriously cried through the entire show. they were just so close ... and to see rori getting ready to leave home and go out on her own was just heartbreaking. i want my girls to listen to me and respect me and do what i say ... but i also want them to think i'm pretty cool and want to hang out with me. most of the time i think they just think i'm dorky though. lol!
Posted by: laura vegas | Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 10:04 PM